In the last article we looked at the process of submitting a draft script. Now we will look at the process of story editing using one of the most recent additions to the archive: The Transformers episode Cosmic Rust.
The story editors for the Transformers main series from 700-01 Transport To Oblivion to 700-64 B.O.T were Bryce Malek and Dick Robbins. After which, they were tasked by Marvel Productions to relaunch and be story editors for the stalled production of Defenders Of The Earth. A 65-episode series produced on behalf of King Features Entertainment.
From 700-02 Roll For It until at least 700-42 Make Tracks, they were assisted by Ron Friedman who was credited as providing "Additional Dialogue". In practice, this meant Friedman largely re-writing every line of dialogue and the story editors accepting most of what he gave them. Whilst there has not yet been any paper verification beyond the scripts that Friedman himself has sold off, it seems likely that his involvement with the series ended in March 1985 due to him being needed to finish writing The Transformers The Movie, then writing the third G.I Joe miniseries and then beginning work on G.I Joe: The Movie.
Cosmic Rust (originally title Rust In Peace) was completed by series' production co-ordinator Paul Davids on 10th September 1985. While the archive does not have the finalised copy of the script, it does have the full storyboards and dialogue script, which were drawn up using the version of the script that was passed out of story editing.
First draft script: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1-5Kxze4JCWNMN5POOclnK32LiF_cnsrU
Full storyboards (with final revisions made by producer George Singer): https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Ure-xu61MrvzdMQNj_GXATTIPQrazaEW
Full dialogue script: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1hbJS1BKwKN_HZ8TmjmY7nx2_4DTn8CRz
I know you are, but what am I?
The opening exchange between Rumble and Astrotrain is changed to be more adversarial.
Original:
RUMBLE: Hey, Astrotrain, look out for those asteroids!
ASTROTRAIN (VO): Relax, Rumble! Do you always have to be a back-seat driver?
ASTROTRAIN (CONT): Well, fry my heat shield! Get a load of that -- the Autobot symbol!
Final:
RUMBLE: Astrotrain! Look out for those asteroids!
ASTROTRAIN: Quiet, pipsqueak! You're bothering me!
ASTROTRAIN (CONT): Well, fry my heatshields!
RUMBLE: I'll do more than that if you call me pipsqueak again!
ASTROTRAIN: Get a load of that, pipsqueak - the Autobot symbol!
Sadly, while the storyboard scenes are left intact, this added joke was deleted from the soundtrack. Sometimes dialogue would be cut from scenes where the visuals were retained, in order to better pace out the amount of dialogue.
Till All Are One
By September 1985, the major details for The Transformers The Movie were locked in as production of the movie went full steam ahead. As such, there was a drive to drop in early references in order to set up for the movie. Such as bringing in female Transformers in The Search For Alpha Trion or generally dialling up the violence level in the last dozen or so episodes of the season. One such reference was inserted by the editors when Starscream laments that none of them can read Ancient Autobot, Megatron intercedes:
Original
MEGATRON: I do, you illiterate clod! I am fluent in every planetary language!
(CONT): It says the Thirteenth Legion of Autobots arrived here the first millennium after Autobots were first created.....
(CONT): -- which would make it about five hundred thousand years before we Decepticons left for Earth!
In the final edit, the second line is changed to say "...the first millennium after the creation of the Autobot Matrix." The third line was then given to Starscream. This early attempt to introduce the Matrix was cut in the final storyboard revision.
A MacGuffin by any other name:
The draft script refers to Perceptor's rust-proofing agent as the Ultra Compound. This was changed to Corrostop in the final version. Often a device or other plot-relevant item might have it's name changed in order to make the dialogue flow more easily. For instance, the weather core in the previous episode Trans-Europe Express was originally titled The Pearl Of Jehuddin. This was changed to Bahoudin for better dialogue flow.
Always picked last
During the G1 35th Anniversary Reuinion at TFCon in 2019, Paul Davids made his collection of production material available to view for the attendees. One item was the edited outline for this episode. One key change between outline and script was that Paul intended for Shockwave to be on the mission to Antilla. A handwritten note states "No, leave him on Cybertron".
It is likely that many of the scenes featuring Starscream throughout the first act, including those of him providing medical care to Megatron, were originally meant for Shockwave.
Action! Action! Action!
Originally the cliffhanger to Act 1 was for the Aerialbots to pursue Blitzwing into New York City, with Silverbolt opting to fly above. The last line before Fade Out being Skydive's "Keep your wings tucked back, guys-- It looks like trouble!"
The editors must not have felt this to be a sufficiently exciting cliffhanger, so an insert scene was added where Blitzwing banks around a skyscraper and opens fire on the Aerialbots. We go to break with the explosion caused by his laser blasts filling the screen. We return from break to find that the Aerialbots have dodged the blasts unharmed, Fireflight commenting "Lucky that guy can't aim straight!"
The entire scene was cut, along with a lot of material from the subsequent chase through the city, in the final storyboard revisions. The act break was moved up to Perceptor being shoved into Blitzwing's hold by Breakdown, fading out on Dead End's line of "You've got an appointment with Megatron"
2 for 1 special
The scene of Blaster riding aboard Cosmos through space, lamenting their inability to find the secret ingredient, was shortly followed by them arriving at Autobot HQ to report their news to Prime. The information the audience needed from the second scene was added to the first and the second scene deleted in the story edit. Originally, Blaster reports the more plausible explanation that they have searched the entire solar system (Playing on past story given that Cosmos was making a return trip from near Titan in The God Gambit). This was changed to the more vague line from Cosmos of "There is no more Ingredient X - anywhere!"
You're on your own.....or are you?
Once the Autobots realise that Megatron is frying their headquarters with the heat ray, Prime calls the Aerialbots for support, their response?
SKYDIVE: (noncommittal) It's unfortunate that you are under siege. However, it's very inadvisable that we expose ourselves to Cosmic Rust!"
SLINGSHOT: Yeah! We don't wanna catch your disease!
SILVERBOLT: Sorry, Optimus -- you're on your own!
*Aerialbots fly out, screen fades out*
OPTIMUS PRIME: (softly) Then we are doomed.
Megatron and Rumble then fly off carrying the lightning bug, with Megatron proclaiming "Another hour or so, and there will be nothing left of Prime and the Autobots!"
This subplot of the Aerialbots walking out on the Autobots in their time of need somewhat plays on plot elements from The Key To Vector Sigma, part 2. During the battle on Liberty Island, the Aerialbots return to attack Menasor with the following exchange:
OPTIMUS PRIME: You...you came back!
SILVERBOLT (VO): You didn't think we'd really leave you in the lurch, did you?
SLINGSHOT (VO): What d'ya think we are?....cowards?!
Perhaps due to it's nature as a recycled story point, this entire subplot was deleted in the final edit.
That's all for our look at story editing. Next up: A look at the storyboarding and slugging process.
Thursday 9 January 2020
Monday 30 December 2019
From premise to outline to script: Cobra Stops The World
In this article, we will take a look at the process of animation script writing during the 1980's. Using the early G.I Joe episode Cobra Stops The World, written by Joe story editor Steve Gerber.
The process began either by a script being assigned to a staff member, some of whom had a script quota on their contract, or by the story editor contacting a freelance writer. During 1986 and 1987, declining budgets led to a heavier use of staff writing. To the point that most of Inhumanoids and all of Visionaries' scripts were written in-house.
When a freelance writer was contacted to write a script, they would be sent a list of GI Joe and Cobra characters and vehicles to incorporate into a story. As time went on and the same writers were hired back again and again for multiple shows, this process became less rigid.
The writer was then expected to submit three premises, which could run between a paragraph and a full page. The premise gave the basic idea to a story, as demonstrated with this example from the Transformers episode Money Is Everything:
PREMISE:
"Money Is Everything" is Free Trader DIRK MANUS self-serving motto; he proves it by selling the Technobots into the Quintesson's tentacles, not once, but TWICE ... or DOES he?
If a premise was approved, the writer would receive half of their script fee in advance to write an outline. This would run between 12 -14 pages roughly and would lay out the story, organised into story beats. Once an outline was submitted, it would be reviewed and any notes or changes passed back to the writer for them to begin the full script.
Once the full script was submitted, it was sent from either Sunbow's Westwood offices in LA or from Marvel Productions' offices (For Transformers season 1 and 2) via commercial email to Sunbow's main offices in New York. Where Hasbro's representative in that office would review the script and send it back to the story editor with notes of any changes required by Hasbro in the story edit.
The timeline for this process is laid out in the G.I Joe Writer's Guide as follows:
The process began either by a script being assigned to a staff member, some of whom had a script quota on their contract, or by the story editor contacting a freelance writer. During 1986 and 1987, declining budgets led to a heavier use of staff writing. To the point that most of Inhumanoids and all of Visionaries' scripts were written in-house.
When a freelance writer was contacted to write a script, they would be sent a list of GI Joe and Cobra characters and vehicles to incorporate into a story. As time went on and the same writers were hired back again and again for multiple shows, this process became less rigid.
The writer was then expected to submit three premises, which could run between a paragraph and a full page. The premise gave the basic idea to a story, as demonstrated with this example from the Transformers episode Money Is Everything:
PREMISE:
"Money Is Everything" is Free Trader DIRK MANUS self-serving motto; he proves it by selling the Technobots into the Quintesson's tentacles, not once, but TWICE ... or DOES he?
If a premise was approved, the writer would receive half of their script fee in advance to write an outline. This would run between 12 -14 pages roughly and would lay out the story, organised into story beats. Once an outline was submitted, it would be reviewed and any notes or changes passed back to the writer for them to begin the full script.
Once the full script was submitted, it was sent from either Sunbow's Westwood offices in LA or from Marvel Productions' offices (For Transformers season 1 and 2) via commercial email to Sunbow's main offices in New York. Where Hasbro's representative in that office would review the script and send it back to the story editor with notes of any changes required by Hasbro in the story edit.
The timeline for this process is laid out in the G.I Joe Writer's Guide as follows:
- Receipt of character/vehicles list to turning in premises: one week
- Receipt of premises to story approval: one week
- Story approval to completion of outline: one week
- Delivery of outline to approval: one week
- Approval of outline to delivery of script: two weeks
Cobra Stops The World is, at time of writing, the only example of an outline and a full script available at the archive. So let us begin our examination of how the story changes from outline to full script.
Outline: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1V4LMvbpxOeGTCS7nNCMtXahm2e4-znZh
Full script Act I: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1d957YAmh9lQ_IAOMYhJ_vMIQk3OXc3qT
Full script Act II: https://drive.google.com/open?id=12BrtLIW3DP6hEcHqQMGeGtx35DTLIVB_
Full script Act III: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1AuMbydjokOSWB8UWdet2gg-Ay19_skju
Don't be specific
One of the key changes was to not state that the action was taking place in real-life locations. Originally, all of the city scenes take place in Los Angeles. Duke and Ace's scenes are specifically mentioned as taking place in Venezuela, with the waterfall they eject over being named as Angel Falls, the world's tallest waterfall. Cobra's secret base is named as being located on Tiera del Fuego, the "land of fire".
Story compression
The first three beats of the story are compressed and simplified in the full script. Originally, the sequence of events were:
- General Flagg delivers an intelligence briefing at Joe HQ, while the montage of Cobra forces disrupting oil supplies across the globe plays out
- The Joes ruminate on the consequences of the oil supply running out when Cobra Commander interrupts all television broadcasts to deliver his demonstration of Cobra's diamond-powered cloaking device, seemingly making the desperately-needed oil tankers disappear from view.
- The Joes move out from HQ and Duke gives them their orders on the move.
In the full script, the sequence of events plays out as follows:
- The episode begins with Cobra Commander making his broadcast, the montage of Cobra in action plays as part of the broadcast with his narration over it.
- The Joes are already on the move as Colonel Sharp (from The Revenge Of Cobra) delivers his briefing from HQ. Duke then gives the orders to the various teams.
No animals were harmed.....
The original cliffhanger for Act I was cut. Duke and Ace in a Skystriker are pursued by three Cobra Rattlers. Through some aerial manoeuvres through a canyon, Ace forces two of the Rattlers to crash. The third one, however, is able to shoot them down and they are forced to eject over Angel Falls. The Rattler makes another pass, opening fire and shredding their parachutes. Once they have fallen into the river at the base of the falls, we go to break with Duke and Ace menaced by caimans, a South American relation to the crocodile. We return from break with the caimans closing in. Duke throws a grenade at the riverbank, toppling a tree into the river and causing a distraction that allows him and Ace to make it to the bank.
In the full script, the scenes with the caimans are completely removed. With the intended cliffhanger gone, the act break is moved to when the third Rattler pilot fires their missiles at the Skystriker. Once Duke and Ace hit the river, they swim to the bank without incident.
Don't point that thing at me
The original cliffhanger for Act II was changed. In the episode, Ace tries to fake an injury but Major Bludd and his tribesman' allies are going to execute him anyway. Originally, the tribesmen aim their Cobra-supplied laser weapons at Ace as we go to break. Directly aiming and threatening human beings with firearms in a story was a major no-no (at least at this point) due to the fear of children imitating such behaviour. In the full script, the cliffhanger is changed to Ace being dragged to a pit of snakes, about to be thrown in. The weapons issue required some editing to the next script Jungle Trap, as well.
Get out of jail free
Cobra Commander and Destro are captured in the outline. As having them be captured in every episode wouldn't work for a main series, Cobra Commander escapes by emitting a choking gas from his mask in order to delay Duke. Perhaps due to the show being in it's early days, the final scene with Duke and Scarlett in a Skystriker over LA has Cobra's escape weighing heavily on Duke's mind. As the show progressed and Cobra escaping became a recurring trope, Joe characters seemingly ceased to be affected by it.
Even when a script had been completed and passed to production by the story editor, there was usually still material that would need to be deleted. As the episode's running length had to be 21 minutes. It was always preferred for scripts to run slightly longer, ideally to around 22 or 23 minutes, so that the production process could whittle the material down to the required running time. A writer who attempted to turn in exactly 21 minutes of script ran the risk of the episode under-running. Forcing story editors to write more material to bring the episode up to length and causing delay to the overall production of the show. A writer who caused an episode to under-run usually found themselves unlikely, if ever, to be commissioned by the same production company again.
Cobra Stops The World is estimated to clock in at around 25 minutes. Among the key scenes cut for time are:
Diplomacy is not for the patient
Destro is frustrated as the UN debates Cobra's demands. Cobra Commander suggests another "fireworks display" (blowing up a tanker) to give them more incentive.
Reality ensues
In the broadcast episode, Scarlett is disguised as an old lady as she breaks in to a Cobra safe house. Before she gets there, she is walking through the deserted streets of LA. She stops at a food store which has been looted and smashed, with the emotionally shattered store owner sitting on the steps outside. He explains that with no fuel for the truckers, food shipments into the city have stopped. She asks him for directions to an address (the safe house) and when he answers, she tells him Cobra won't get away with it. To which the despairing store owner replies "I wish I could believe that, ma'am..."
While the question of whether to cut scenes and by how much was determined by running time. One wonders if the producers felt more comfortable choosing this scene for deletion as it depicts a very realistic reaction to the episode's premise of the world's fuel supply being cut off.
Wednesday 25 December 2019
RIP Patricia Alice Albrecht
News from Samantha Newark's Instagram
Jem voice actress Patricia Alice Albrecht passed away on December 25th, 2019. Throughout the show's 65 episode run, she voiced Misfits frontwoman Phyllis "Pizzazz" Gabor as well as Starlight Girls Deirdre, Terri, Becky, Anne, Marianne, JoEllen, Nancy and Delaree.
In lieu of flowers, Patricia's wish for those who loved and supported her was to make a donation to https://freeforlifeintl.org/
Jem voice actress Patricia Alice Albrecht passed away on December 25th, 2019. Throughout the show's 65 episode run, she voiced Misfits frontwoman Phyllis "Pizzazz" Gabor as well as Starlight Girls Deirdre, Terri, Becky, Anne, Marianne, JoEllen, Nancy and Delaree.
In lieu of flowers, Patricia's wish for those who loved and supported her was to make a donation to https://freeforlifeintl.org/
Thursday 19 December 2019
Christmas update and upcoming articles
Happy Christmas to all blog viewers!
It has now been six months since the launch of the archive. In that time, the collection has more than doubled to include:
Here's to 2020 and to uncovering more of the untold stories from our favourite shows.
Simon Letch
Sunbow/Marvel Script And Storyboard Archive
It has now been six months since the launch of the archive. In that time, the collection has more than doubled to include:
- 75 full TV scripts
- 117 dialogue scripts
- 15 storyboard sets
- 3 movie screenplays
- 5 show bibles
- And a whole load of miscellaneous material including internal correspondence, unused story premises, cast lists, story synopses and model sheet packs
But there is still a vast amount of material out there. If anyone knows the location of any of these items, or is willing to help with scanning and contributing, please get in touch. Additionally, if anyone is able to provide cover dates for scripts or storyboards. Please contact the archive so that I can fill in the gaps on the production timeline database.
The archive's Patreon is now live (click the link on the right), with Patrons able to gain early access to production material, as well as articles and analysis of both the shows and the production process a full week before they go up on the archive.
The initial pair of articles will be posted soon. The first one looks at the process of writing a draft script focusing on the G.I Joe episode Cobra Stops The World. The second will look at the story-editing process using the Transformers episode Cosmic Rust.
Here's to 2020 and to uncovering more of the untold stories from our favourite shows.
Simon Letch
Sunbow/Marvel Script And Storyboard Archive
Sunday 15 December 2019
Programming by TV season
Episode numbers in parentheses. Returning shows listed before new shows.
1981/1982
Marvel
Spider-man (26)
Spider-man And His Amazing Friends (13)
1982/1983
Marvel
Spider-man And His Amazing Friends (3)
The Incredible Hulk (13)
Pandamonium (13)
Meatballs & Spaghetti (25)
1983/1984
Sunbow/Marvel
G.I Joe: A Real American Hero (5)
Charmkins (1, special)
My Little Pony (1, special)
Marvel
Spider-man And His Amazing Friends (8)
Dungeons & Dragons (13)
1984/1985
Sunbow/Marvel
G.I Joe: A Real American Hero (5)
The Transformers (16)
My Little Pony (1, special)
Marvel/Other
Dungeons & Dragons (8)
Muppet Babies (13)
1985/1986
Sunbow/Marvel
G.I Joe: A Real American Hero (55)
The Transformers (49)
Super Sunday (7 minute shorts: Robotix, Jem, Imhumanoids: 15 segments. Bigfoot And The Muscle Machines: 9 segments)
The Glo Friends (1, special)
Marvel/Other
Dungeons & Dragons (6)
Muppet Babies (13)
Little Muppet Monsters (13 ordered, 3 aired)
1986/1987
Sunbow/Marvel
G.I Joe: A Real American Hero (30)
The Transformers (30)
Jem (26 including half-hour edits of previous shorts)
Inhumanoids (13 including half-hour edits of previous shorts)
My Little Pony N Friends (50 half-hours. Anthology: My Little Pony, Glo Friends, Moondreamers, Potato Head Kids.)
Marvel/Other
Muppet Babies (16)
Defenders Of The Earth (65)
1987/1988
Sunbow/Marvel
G.I Joe: A Real American Hero (repackage season)
The Transformers (3)
Jem (39)
My Little Pony N Friends (15 half-hours)
My Little Pony N Friends (15 half-hours)
Sunbow/TMS Entertainment
Visionaries: Knights Of The Magical Light (13)
Marvel/Other
Jim Henson's Muppet Babies (18)
Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock (13)
Little Wizards (13)
Little Clowns Of Happytown (18)
Blondie And Dagwood (1, special)
1988/1989
Sunbow/Marvel
The Transformers (20, repackage season)
Marvel/Other
Jim Henson's Muppet Babies (13)
Dino-riders (13)
Robocop (12)
1989/1990
Marvel/Other
Jim Henson's Muppet Babies (18)
Rude Dog And The Dweebs (13)
Pryde Of The X-men (1)
Blonde And Dagwood (1, special)
The Monster Bed (1, special)
1990/1991
Marvel/Other
Jim Henson's Muppet Babies (8)
Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes (13)
Kid N' Play (13)
1991/1992
Sunbow/Marvel
Bucky O'Hare And The Toad Wars (13)
Marvel/Other
Jim Henson's Muppet Babies (8)
Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes (8)
Little Shop (13)
Space Cats (13)
1992/1993
Sunbow/Graz Entertainment
My Little Pony Tales (26)
Conan The Adventurer (13)
1993/1994
Marvel Productions reorganised into New World Animation
Sunbow/C&D/Jetlag Studios
Conan The Adventurer (52)
Sunbow/Marvel
The Transformers: Generation 2 (13, repackaged footage)
1994/1995
Sunbow/Graz Entertainment
Conan And The Young Warriors (13)
The Tick (13)
Sgt. Savage And His Screaming Eagles (1, direct-to-video)
Sunbow/Marvel
The Transformers: Generation 2 (39, repackaged footage)
1995/1996
Sunbow/Graz Entertainment
The Tick (13)
G.I Joe Extreme (13)
Sunbow/Film Roman
The MASK: The Animated Series (15)
Sunbow/C&D/AB Productions
Littlest Pet Shop (40)
1996/1997
Sunbow/Graz Entertainment
The Tick (10)
Sunbow/Gunther-Wahl Productions
G.I Joe Extreme (13)
Sunbow/Film Roman
The MASK: The Animated Series (30)
1997/1998
Sunbow/Film Roman
The MASK: The Animated Series (9)
Sunbow/Other
Salty's Lighthouse (40)
The Crayon Box (26)
1998/1999
Sunbow/TMO-Loonland
Fat Dog Mendoza (26, never aired in US)
1999/2000
Sunbow/Ravensburger Film + TV/Videal
The Brothers Flub (26)
2000/2001
Sunbow/RTV Family Entertainment/Cuckoos Nest Animation
Generation O! (13)
2001/2002
Sunbow
The Cramp Twins (18)
2002/2003
No programming
2003/2004
Sunbow
The Cramp Twins (8)
Sunbow Entertainment shut down in 2004. Further production of The Cramp Twins handed to Teleimagination
Wednesday 11 December 2019
MP 4057 G.I Joe The Movie script, summary of deleted and changed scenes
Using the final screenplay, which can be found which can be found on the main G.I Joe post here at the archive. Along with additional information provided by Buzz Dixon's commentary track, which can be found on the 2010 Shout Factory DVD release. Here is a full summary of deleted and changed scenes from G.I Joe The Movie.
This is not an exhaustive list of every change or cut to action and dialogue. Rather the key moments that fill in narrative gaps or change context. This summary presumes that the reader has already seen the movie before continuing.
This is not an exhaustive list of every change or cut to action and dialogue. Rather the key moments that fill in narrative gaps or change context. This summary presumes that the reader has already seen the movie before continuing.
The full script and sampling of storyboards can be found at the GI Joe Part 2 page:
Various pages - Same Old Story
There are various smaller cut scenes over the course of the film. Such as page 119 where the Crimson Twins' psychic bond proves to be their undoing in a fight. Page 153 where Wetsuit and Leatherneck are bickering with each other as they set the charges to breach Cobra-La. Then finally page 167 where Flint and Lady Jaye are flirting with each other in the middle of a firefight. All of these scenes were likely cut because they re-tread ground that had been well-covered by the TV series.
Pg. 7 and 8: Pythona draws first blood
One key theme that Buzz Dixon included throughout his Joe TV scripts was that "war is not a game". Most of his stories would have a character be seriously injured to drive the point home. The movie takes this approach to the logical next step as, though the script direction is not always 100% explicit, it is clear that several characters die throughout the course of this film.
The first of these deaths occurs at the beginning of the film when a Viper searching for Pythona, is ambushed by her and backhanded off the roof of the Terrordome. In the finished film, this is played down by being staged as a scream heard through a security monitor.
Pg.21 Frying tonight
During the first battle of the B.E.T,, the scene of Duke being nicked in the arm by a laser blast is absent. When Serpentor fights him and throws the boa constrictor, Duke dodges and the snake hits the main dish of the B.E.T "and FRIES to a crisp".
Pg. 24 Abandoned
As Cobra retreats through the Himalayas, a frozen Motor Viper falls from his turret and is left to die in the snow.
Beginning on pg. 34 Meet the Rawhides
The initial scene of Beachhead inspecting the Rawhides was a last minute addition to the script, with the team members initially intended to be introduced separately in the scenes that follow. Tunnel Rat and Big Lob's training exercise is heavily compressed. With Beachhead explaining and showing the various booby traps beforehand, instead of referencing "surprises". The two Rawhides originally ran the course separately instead of simultaneously.
Pg. 53 Two-timing
As Jinx escorts her off the premises, "Heather" makes a realisation: "Don't tell me he stood you up for l'il ol' moi?". Confirming that Falcon and Jinx have a relationship and giving context to her anger during their scene in the motorpool on pg.58.
Pg. 54 Gotta get that PG rating
As Zarana drops her "Heather" disguise by the lake, she is topless (shown from behind). This was added intentionally to gain the film a PG rating, akin to the swearing added to Transformers The Movie. The scene made it to the first draft storyboards, where the decision was made to revise the shot to a two-piece bathing suit. In the finished film, this is changed to a one-piece bathing suit, with more "open" staging as she throws Thrasher into the lake.
Pg. 64 Blind luck
As the Dreadnoks make their escape from the stockade with Serpentor, Jinx puts on her blindfold and charges the Thunder Machine with a sword. Falcon, not understanding, tackles her out of the way. prompting an argument until they see the smoke and damage coming from the stockade and run over, right into General Hawk.
Pg. 68 Glossary of Cobra-La
The script pauses in telling the story to give an entire page of reference to Cobra-La. With detailed descriptions of their wholly organic society: Cities, roads and buildings composed of interlocking organisms. The dress and appearance of Cobra-La Nobles and Technicians. Even organic cars and street lights.
Pg. 74 He ain't heavy, he's my brother
One of the earliest themes proposed for the G.I Joe movie was that of an arrogant rookie Joe who is insubordinate, irresponsible and sometimes putting teammates lives at risk. But gets away with it due to being related to a high-ranking member of the team. Originally, this Joe was intended to be the son of General Hawk (Given the placeholder name of Kiddy Hawk in early outlines). Hasbro were reportedly unhappy with doing a nepotism storyline, so the Joe who would become Lt Falcon was changed to being Duke's half-brother. Even so, in the final script, Duke makes no bones about it as he asks for leniency during Falcon's hearing: "Falcon is my half-brother. I pulled strings to get him into G.I Joe."
Pg .85 Enterprise not so Extensive?
After seeing Cobra Commander be further mutated by the spores, the Crimson Twins ponder their future in Cobra-La's new order:
Pg. 88 Meet The Sarge
When Falcon first meets and is then roughed up by the Renegades, Sgt Slaughter is forced to trounce all three of them in a fight before they obey the command of "At ease, disease!". Immediately selling the idea that this group are so wild and ill-disciplined that only the Sarge can bring them under control.
Pg. 94 "That giant plant eats Joes alive!"
Once Quick Kick, Lady Jaye and the other escaping Joes are caught up in the giant trees and subdued, Golobulus exposits: "Ages ago, when the outer world belonged to us the Carno-Tree snared delicious game for our feasts." To which, Pythona gloats "Now it traps only disgusting pests and parasites - like G.I Joe!" (she laughs throatily).
Pg. 100 The world reacts
As the fungus plants blast into orbit, we cut to Mission Control at Johnson Space Center In Houston. Where a technician (Vernee Watson Johnson) and an elderly German scientist (Peter Cullen) watch as the monitors fill up with hundreds of blips. Thinking it could be a new Russian weapon, they immediately call in to the Defense Department.
Pg. 102 Push it to the limit
The montage of Falcon training at the Slaughterhouse was originally a lot longer and more involved, with the script directing "Falcon's Training THEME MUSIC creeps in under the preceding and continues over the Montage Sequence". That there is no such theme music is a consequence of the decision, likely made for budget reasons, to not commission a dedicated score for this movie. Instead, the soundtrack is mostly comprised of the existing shared score used for G.I Joe and Transformers, as well as the additional pieces used in Transformers season 3 (G.I Joe season 2 being produced too early to use much of it.).
Pg. 114 Don't stick your finger in that socket
Lt. Falcon breaks into the Terrordrome's communications room where two Tele-Vipers are performing maintenance. He gets the drop on the first one but ends up wrestling with the second one, who is trying to jam a soldering iron into Falcon's eye. With "DIE, MAGGOT!" appearing on the Tele-Viper's visor. Falcon shifts position and sends the Viper pitching forward into the radio console, with the soldering iron going into an open socket and electrocuting him.
Pg. 122 Race against time
Once the Terrordrome has been destroyed, Dr Mindbender orders Cobra's aerial forces to take off and intercept Falcon, Slaughter and the Renegades. While the group is being pursued by Cobra Morays who are jamming their radio and preventing Falcon from warning Joe HQ of the coming attack.
Meanwhile, Flint's team in the Himalayas are forced to call off their search for Roadblock's unit for the night. Their Tomahawk passes right above, but doesn't spot, Roadblock and Cobra Commander continuing to trudge through the snow.
Pg. 123 Twenty Questions, but no answers
Sunbow crossover "star" Hector Ramirez reports live from the United Nations, where the US and Soviet envoys are arguing and accusing each other of having a weapon (the spores) now in orbit.
Pg. 130 "Waitin fer a gold-plated invite?"
During the second battle for the B.E.T, we cut away to see the Renegades' Devilfish hit the beach near a small fishing town. Slaughter makes a run through the town, under fire from a Cobra Moray. He dashes into a garage that the laser blasts set on fire. Pulls off a tarp to reveal the Triple-T, smashes out of the building with it and hits the beach to take out the remaining Cobra pursuers.
Pg. 133 Second battle for the B.E.T
Back at the battle, Serpentor's squadron of Night Ravens drop cluster bombs on the Joe ground forces - destroying vehicles and "hurl BLOW TORCH and BARBECUE into the air."
Once the Armored Borers erupt from the ground, Scarlett's vehicle crashes straight into one, with her fate left unstated until....
Pg. 142 The Duke's last ride
The most famous change made to the movie. As it is written, storyboarded and animated, Duke dies from his wound, with the script commanding "ABSOLUTE DEAD SILENCE on the soundtrack; no music, no voice, no sound effects, no nothing".
However, while this film was being animated at Toei. The Transformers The Movie was released, with the resulting backlash over Optimus Prime's death prompting the decision to hire in B.J Ward (Scarlett) and Ed Gilbert (General Hawk) to record a short overdub. Rather dubiously claiming that being impaled in the heart had sent Duke into a coma.
Pg. 145 Money talks
As Serpentor makes his triumphant homecoming to Cobra-La, B.E.T in tow. The Crimson Twins attempt to sell a Cobra-La Noble on the virtues of a digital watch in exchange for pearls.
Pg. 147 Funeral for a friend
Duke's funeral, where his coffin is floating above the ground on four energy jets. Once Hawk has read the eulogy he, Beachhead, Scarlett and two other Joes use their pistols to create a gridwork of intersecting lasers. The vertical jets cut out, the coffin falls into the gridwork and is vaporized.
Immediately after, Dial-Tone runs in to tell Hawk he has located the B.E.T.
The following scene of Falcon insisting on going after Serpentor and being told to stay behind has been edited to remove references to Duke's death.
Pg. 151 A changed man
Falcon sits in the Joe Comms Room and tries unceasingly for hours to contact Flint. Jinx comes in and when their conversation turns to how he used to be, he remarks "That was the OLD Falcon...the Falcon of a million years ago.". Jinx tells him that she didn't think the old Falcon was so bad: "He just needed some sense slapped in to him". As they move in to kiss, Flint comes in on the monitor.
Pg. 166 A rescue too late?
After Big Lob blows up the base of the Carno-Trees and sends them toppling, the captive Joes are unmoving, seemingly dead. Destro, who leads the counterattack, taunts Flint's group while standing amongst the bodies of the fallen Joes "Your rescue attempt has been wasted.....on CORPSES!". At that moment, Quick Kick comes to and sweeps Destro's legs out from under him. The other released Joes all rise amongst the Cobra members and begin fighting.
Pg. 171 Hurry, hurry, hurry! Sale must end! Doors closing at midnight!
As the various organisms that comprise Cobra-La begin swarming the Joes, Quick Kick remarks that this is the weirdest battle he's ever fought in. To which Shipwreck holds up the arm of a Cobra-La Noble who is cowering at their position and replies "Weird? WEIRD? HA! I'll tell ya weird! Every single one o' these clowns is wearin' a digital watch!"
Pg. 183 A stake in the serpent's heart
In the finished film, we last see Serpentor spinning out of control on his Air Chariot, his cape caught in the VTOL fans. Later, after Golubulus taunts Falcon over his failure to stop the spores, he begins to flee Cobra-La. He stops by Serpentor's fallen body, proclaiming "Death will not defeat you, Serpentor! I shall reclone you more powerful than ever!"
Pg.188 Aftermath
Video of the ending storyboards from the Sony Maverick DVD, released in 2002
Various pages - Same Old Story
There are various smaller cut scenes over the course of the film. Such as page 119 where the Crimson Twins' psychic bond proves to be their undoing in a fight. Page 153 where Wetsuit and Leatherneck are bickering with each other as they set the charges to breach Cobra-La. Then finally page 167 where Flint and Lady Jaye are flirting with each other in the middle of a firefight. All of these scenes were likely cut because they re-tread ground that had been well-covered by the TV series.
Pg. 7 and 8: Pythona draws first blood
One key theme that Buzz Dixon included throughout his Joe TV scripts was that "war is not a game". Most of his stories would have a character be seriously injured to drive the point home. The movie takes this approach to the logical next step as, though the script direction is not always 100% explicit, it is clear that several characters die throughout the course of this film.
The first of these deaths occurs at the beginning of the film when a Viper searching for Pythona, is ambushed by her and backhanded off the roof of the Terrordome. In the finished film, this is played down by being staged as a scream heard through a security monitor.
Pg.21 Frying tonight
During the first battle of the B.E.T,, the scene of Duke being nicked in the arm by a laser blast is absent. When Serpentor fights him and throws the boa constrictor, Duke dodges and the snake hits the main dish of the B.E.T "and FRIES to a crisp".
Pg. 24 Abandoned
As Cobra retreats through the Himalayas, a frozen Motor Viper falls from his turret and is left to die in the snow.
Beginning on pg. 34 Meet the Rawhides
The initial scene of Beachhead inspecting the Rawhides was a last minute addition to the script, with the team members initially intended to be introduced separately in the scenes that follow. Tunnel Rat and Big Lob's training exercise is heavily compressed. With Beachhead explaining and showing the various booby traps beforehand, instead of referencing "surprises". The two Rawhides originally ran the course separately instead of simultaneously.
Pg. 53 Two-timing
As Jinx escorts her off the premises, "Heather" makes a realisation: "Don't tell me he stood you up for l'il ol' moi?". Confirming that Falcon and Jinx have a relationship and giving context to her anger during their scene in the motorpool on pg.58.
Pg. 54 Gotta get that PG rating
As Zarana drops her "Heather" disguise by the lake, she is topless (shown from behind). This was added intentionally to gain the film a PG rating, akin to the swearing added to Transformers The Movie. The scene made it to the first draft storyboards, where the decision was made to revise the shot to a two-piece bathing suit. In the finished film, this is changed to a one-piece bathing suit, with more "open" staging as she throws Thrasher into the lake.
Pg. 64 Blind luck
As the Dreadnoks make their escape from the stockade with Serpentor, Jinx puts on her blindfold and charges the Thunder Machine with a sword. Falcon, not understanding, tackles her out of the way. prompting an argument until they see the smoke and damage coming from the stockade and run over, right into General Hawk.
Pg. 68 Glossary of Cobra-La
The script pauses in telling the story to give an entire page of reference to Cobra-La. With detailed descriptions of their wholly organic society: Cities, roads and buildings composed of interlocking organisms. The dress and appearance of Cobra-La Nobles and Technicians. Even organic cars and street lights.
Pg. 74 He ain't heavy, he's my brother
One of the earliest themes proposed for the G.I Joe movie was that of an arrogant rookie Joe who is insubordinate, irresponsible and sometimes putting teammates lives at risk. But gets away with it due to being related to a high-ranking member of the team. Originally, this Joe was intended to be the son of General Hawk (Given the placeholder name of Kiddy Hawk in early outlines). Hasbro were reportedly unhappy with doing a nepotism storyline, so the Joe who would become Lt Falcon was changed to being Duke's half-brother. Even so, in the final script, Duke makes no bones about it as he asks for leniency during Falcon's hearing: "Falcon is my half-brother. I pulled strings to get him into G.I Joe."
Pg .85 Enterprise not so Extensive?
After seeing Cobra Commander be further mutated by the spores, the Crimson Twins ponder their future in Cobra-La's new order:
Pg. 88 Meet The Sarge
When Falcon first meets and is then roughed up by the Renegades, Sgt Slaughter is forced to trounce all three of them in a fight before they obey the command of "At ease, disease!". Immediately selling the idea that this group are so wild and ill-disciplined that only the Sarge can bring them under control.
Pg. 94 "That giant plant eats Joes alive!"
Once Quick Kick, Lady Jaye and the other escaping Joes are caught up in the giant trees and subdued, Golobulus exposits: "Ages ago, when the outer world belonged to us the Carno-Tree snared delicious game for our feasts." To which, Pythona gloats "Now it traps only disgusting pests and parasites - like G.I Joe!" (she laughs throatily).
Pg. 100 The world reacts
As the fungus plants blast into orbit, we cut to Mission Control at Johnson Space Center In Houston. Where a technician (Vernee Watson Johnson) and an elderly German scientist (Peter Cullen) watch as the monitors fill up with hundreds of blips. Thinking it could be a new Russian weapon, they immediately call in to the Defense Department.
Pg. 102 Push it to the limit
The montage of Falcon training at the Slaughterhouse was originally a lot longer and more involved, with the script directing "Falcon's Training THEME MUSIC creeps in under the preceding and continues over the Montage Sequence". That there is no such theme music is a consequence of the decision, likely made for budget reasons, to not commission a dedicated score for this movie. Instead, the soundtrack is mostly comprised of the existing shared score used for G.I Joe and Transformers, as well as the additional pieces used in Transformers season 3 (G.I Joe season 2 being produced too early to use much of it.).
Pg. 114 Don't stick your finger in that socket
Lt. Falcon breaks into the Terrordrome's communications room where two Tele-Vipers are performing maintenance. He gets the drop on the first one but ends up wrestling with the second one, who is trying to jam a soldering iron into Falcon's eye. With "DIE, MAGGOT!" appearing on the Tele-Viper's visor. Falcon shifts position and sends the Viper pitching forward into the radio console, with the soldering iron going into an open socket and electrocuting him.
Pg. 122 Race against time
Once the Terrordrome has been destroyed, Dr Mindbender orders Cobra's aerial forces to take off and intercept Falcon, Slaughter and the Renegades. While the group is being pursued by Cobra Morays who are jamming their radio and preventing Falcon from warning Joe HQ of the coming attack.
Meanwhile, Flint's team in the Himalayas are forced to call off their search for Roadblock's unit for the night. Their Tomahawk passes right above, but doesn't spot, Roadblock and Cobra Commander continuing to trudge through the snow.
Pg. 123 Twenty Questions, but no answers
Sunbow crossover "star" Hector Ramirez reports live from the United Nations, where the US and Soviet envoys are arguing and accusing each other of having a weapon (the spores) now in orbit.
Pg. 130 "Waitin fer a gold-plated invite?"
During the second battle for the B.E.T, we cut away to see the Renegades' Devilfish hit the beach near a small fishing town. Slaughter makes a run through the town, under fire from a Cobra Moray. He dashes into a garage that the laser blasts set on fire. Pulls off a tarp to reveal the Triple-T, smashes out of the building with it and hits the beach to take out the remaining Cobra pursuers.
Pg. 133 Second battle for the B.E.T
Back at the battle, Serpentor's squadron of Night Ravens drop cluster bombs on the Joe ground forces - destroying vehicles and "hurl BLOW TORCH and BARBECUE into the air."
Once the Armored Borers erupt from the ground, Scarlett's vehicle crashes straight into one, with her fate left unstated until....
Pg. 142 The Duke's last ride
The most famous change made to the movie. As it is written, storyboarded and animated, Duke dies from his wound, with the script commanding "ABSOLUTE DEAD SILENCE on the soundtrack; no music, no voice, no sound effects, no nothing".
However, while this film was being animated at Toei. The Transformers The Movie was released, with the resulting backlash over Optimus Prime's death prompting the decision to hire in B.J Ward (Scarlett) and Ed Gilbert (General Hawk) to record a short overdub. Rather dubiously claiming that being impaled in the heart had sent Duke into a coma.
Pg. 145 Money talks
As Serpentor makes his triumphant homecoming to Cobra-La, B.E.T in tow. The Crimson Twins attempt to sell a Cobra-La Noble on the virtues of a digital watch in exchange for pearls.
Pg. 147 Funeral for a friend
Duke's funeral, where his coffin is floating above the ground on four energy jets. Once Hawk has read the eulogy he, Beachhead, Scarlett and two other Joes use their pistols to create a gridwork of intersecting lasers. The vertical jets cut out, the coffin falls into the gridwork and is vaporized.
Immediately after, Dial-Tone runs in to tell Hawk he has located the B.E.T.
The following scene of Falcon insisting on going after Serpentor and being told to stay behind has been edited to remove references to Duke's death.
Pg. 151 A changed man
Falcon sits in the Joe Comms Room and tries unceasingly for hours to contact Flint. Jinx comes in and when their conversation turns to how he used to be, he remarks "That was the OLD Falcon...the Falcon of a million years ago.". Jinx tells him that she didn't think the old Falcon was so bad: "He just needed some sense slapped in to him". As they move in to kiss, Flint comes in on the monitor.
Pg. 166 A rescue too late?
After Big Lob blows up the base of the Carno-Trees and sends them toppling, the captive Joes are unmoving, seemingly dead. Destro, who leads the counterattack, taunts Flint's group while standing amongst the bodies of the fallen Joes "Your rescue attempt has been wasted.....on CORPSES!". At that moment, Quick Kick comes to and sweeps Destro's legs out from under him. The other released Joes all rise amongst the Cobra members and begin fighting.
Pg. 171 Hurry, hurry, hurry! Sale must end! Doors closing at midnight!
As the various organisms that comprise Cobra-La begin swarming the Joes, Quick Kick remarks that this is the weirdest battle he's ever fought in. To which Shipwreck holds up the arm of a Cobra-La Noble who is cowering at their position and replies "Weird? WEIRD? HA! I'll tell ya weird! Every single one o' these clowns is wearin' a digital watch!"
Pg. 183 A stake in the serpent's heart
In the finished film, we last see Serpentor spinning out of control on his Air Chariot, his cape caught in the VTOL fans. Later, after Golubulus taunts Falcon over his failure to stop the spores, he begins to flee Cobra-La. He stops by Serpentor's fallen body, proclaiming "Death will not defeat you, Serpentor! I shall reclone you more powerful than ever!"
Pg.188 Aftermath
Video of the ending storyboards from the Sony Maverick DVD, released in 2002
Sunday 8 December 2019
Conan The Adventurer production order master list
Graz Entertainment no. 100
Season 1
01 The Night Of The Fiery Tears Christy Marx
02 Blood Brother Christy Marx
03 Star Of Shadizar Christy Marx
04 Greywolf Of Xanthus Katherine Lawrence
05 Shadow Walkers Larry DiTillio
06 Conan The Gladiator Buzz Dixon
07 The Heart Of Rakkir Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
08 The Claw Of Heaven Bridget McKenna
09 Windfang's Eyrie Christy Marx
10 Men Of Stone Roger Slifer
11 The Serpent Riders Of Set Doug Booth
12 The Terrible Torrinon Lloyd Goldfine
13 Seven Against Stygia Larry DiTillio
Season 1
01 The Night Of The Fiery Tears Christy Marx
02 Blood Brother Christy Marx
03 Star Of Shadizar Christy Marx
04 Greywolf Of Xanthus Katherine Lawrence
05 Shadow Walkers Larry DiTillio
06 Conan The Gladiator Buzz Dixon
07 The Heart Of Rakkir Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
08 The Claw Of Heaven Bridget McKenna
09 Windfang's Eyrie Christy Marx
10 Men Of Stone Roger Slifer
11 The Serpent Riders Of Set Doug Booth
12 The Terrible Torrinon Lloyd Goldfine
13 Seven Against Stygia Larry DiTillio
Season 2
All 52 episodes in this season are credited on the broadcast title cards as being written by Jean Chalopin. However, US Copyright Office records list the following writers under an "Adapted By" credit.
14 The Curse Of Ax'hoom Doug Booth
15 The Red Brotherhood Katherine Lawrence
16 Return To Tarantia Christy Marx
17 The Birth Of Wrath-Amon George Arthur Bloom
18 In Days Of Old Katherine Lawrence
19 Tribal Warfare Richard Mueller
20 The Labors Of Conan Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
21 Thunder And Lightning Bridget McKenna
22 Earthbound
23 The Queen Of Stygia George Arthur Bloom
24 The Crevasse Of Winds George Arthur Bloom
25 The Bones of Damballah Richard Merwin
26 The Master Thief Of Shadizar Roger Slifer
27 The Vengeance Of Jhebbal-Sag George Arthur Bloom
28 Dregs-Amon The Great Doug Booth
29 An Evil Wind In Kusan Peter Lawrence
30 Conan Of The Kozaki Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
31 The Treachery Of Emperors George Arthur Bloom
32 Dragon's Breath Larry DiTillio
33 Needle In A Haystack Richard Mueller
34 The Return Of Torrinon Lloyd Goldfine
35 The Stealer Of Souls Doug Booth
36 The Amulet of Vathelos Richard Mueller
37 Hanuman The Ape God George Arthur Bloom
38 Nature Of The Beast Roger Slifer
39 The Final Hours Of Conan George Arthur Bloom
40 The Isle Of The Naiaids Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
41 Blood Of My Blood George Arthur Bloom
42 Amra The Lion Richard Merwin
43 The City Of The Burning Skull Doug Booth
44 Down To The Dregs George Arthur Bloom
45 The Wolf Mother Katherine Lawrence
46 The Last Dagger Of Manir Bob Forward
47 The Cornucopia Of Grondar George Arthur Bloom
48 When Tolls The Bell Of Night George Arthur Bloom
49 The Frost Giant's Daughter Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
50 Son Of Atlantis Carla Conway/Roy Thomas
51 The Thorns Of Midnight
52 Turn About Is Foul Play Doug Booth
53 Sword, Sai And Shuriken
54 Full Moon Rising George Arthur Bloom
55 The Sword Of Destiny Rob Travalino
56 The Book Of Skelos Larry DiTillio
57 Vale Of Amazons
58 Conan Rides Again
59 Escape Of Ram-Amon
60 The Star-Metal Monster
61 The Once And Future Conan Lloyd Goldfine
62 Into The Abyss Christy Marx
63 A Serpent Coils The Earth, Part 1 Larry DiTillio
64 A Serpent Coils The Earth, Part 2 Larry DiTillio
65 A Serpent Coils The Earth, Part 3 Larry DiTillio
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